Time Away Is Not Indulgence — It Is Maintenance

Earlier in my career, I chose work over family.

I missed shopping trips with my daughter. I missed hockey games with my son. I was in the office, or in a Zoom room, or in my head — focused on legal matters I can barely remember now. What I remember instead is what I did not do.

The people who truly sustain us are not our clients. They are the ones who love us.

The Quiet Cost of Always Being Available

Law has a way of convincing us that no one else can step in — that if we are not answering, nothing moves. It rarely turns out to be true. What does turn out to be true is this: the people in our lives notice our absence far more than our clients notice our presence.

A missed dinner. A game we promised to attend. A conversation cut short. These small absences add up — not as “billable” time, but as relational debt.

What I Have Changed

I have made three deliberate shifts:

• Setting real boundaries on weekend emails. Not performative boundaries — actual ones. The inbox survives without me.
• Delegating more thoughtfully. Not everything needs my eyes. Building a team I trust has been a form of letting go.
• Giving full attention to the person in front of me. Phone face-down. Eye contact. Listening with my whole body, not half my mind.

A Reframe Worth Repeating

Time away is not indulgence. It is maintenance — maintenance of our health, our relationships, and the very capacities that make us good lawyers in the first place.

A colleague once said: “You can always find another client. You cannot always find another ten-year-old who still wants to have dinner with you.” She was right.

A version of this reflection was published in JUST. Magazine (Ontario Bar Association), “SPILL: How to Make a Clean Getaway — and the Most of Your Time Away from Work” (March 2026). Read the original publication →